aliyah
i had my very fist aliyah today, as a real live jewy jew. it makes me feel more jewish somehow, which joe said is not weird. everyone at synagogue said I was amazing and beautiful and natural and nearly flawless, which was great to hear because i was so nervous. as i was reading the blessing, i felt this rush of blood and then there was a noticeable lack of a rush of blood immediately following that. it was the opposite feeling of feeling flushed, but not like feeling faint. it was cold but combined with the " i was just extremely flushed" feeling it was really weird. i said the whole b'rucha and it felt so good, to be there and saying it and then the rabbi said some words about me converting and how it is like a renovation or renewal of the neshama, the soul. it was neat. i had totally forgotten that he would say something to me in front of the congregation. i was there for a few of my classmates first aliyot after their conversions, and the rabbi always said something. i was so wrapped up in the nerves of speaking publicly in a foreign language, and the order and the choreography of the whole thing that i totally forgot the humanity of it. it was a relief to have it be over, and so amazing to hear all the people say mazel tov and yasher koach to me. it was such a warm and truly welcoming experience, i wouldn't trade it for anything.